Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Deep Billy Ocean Of Confusion


Knock, knock.

Who's there?
Billy.
Billy who?
Billy Ocean!
I'm calling the police.

Wow I have a shitload of Billy Ocean on my computer for some reason! And I sort of hate all of them. Well, I guess 5 songs isn't really what you might think of as a shitload, but one Billy Ocean song takes a lot out of you. I don't know why I keep them on my computer when I can't stand listening to them, either, but I feel bad about deleting all of those Billy Ocean feelings. The Billy Ocean feelings I wish I could delete most of all are in "Licence To Chill".

Yes LICENCE. I can't even think of anything to say about that. There are just too many more wrong things to talk about.

It goes through three or four genres in 4 minutes, as discordant and choppy as it can. It starts off so energetic, then it drops down to more dramatic like "Billie Jean", then it gets energetic again and moves into "Let's Hear It For the Boy" territory, and the way he works in the line "And I'll be your licence to...CHILL" sounds so awkward and out of place. It really bothers me that he pauses before "chill", like it's supposed to mean something to the song or to us and therefore needs to be emphasized above the other words? The wailing saxophone solo actually becomes the best part of the song. I almost like how the "Don't stop what you do to me/ 'cause I'm gonna give you lovin' like it oughta be" part sounds, but by that point I feel so jerked around that I can't really enjoy anything. At all. Someone needs to revoke Billy Ocean's "licence to chill". Which reminds me, how does being someone's "licence to chill" translate to getting with someone, anyway? Which I'm gathering is what he wants to do? That's usually what he wants to do in all of his jams. I don't expect anyone to know the answers to these questions, of course. I just have to get them out there. I would be really surprised if Billy Ocean could answer any of my questions. I think I would probably be more confused by the answers.


In conclusion...


Is he leaning against giant crayons? Oh please let him be! I don't think "Licence To Chill" is on there, but it should have been. Everything should have been on that album. I don't actually know what I mean by that. All I know is that "Inner Feelings" is a great title for any album. I'm glad he thought of it. And whatever is going on on that album cover, I'm glad he's doing that, too.